How to Prepare for Childbirth

When I was expecting my first daughter, like most parents, I was looking for information. The choice of prenatal courses was very limited — I found only six schools, including the "Mothers’ School" at the local women’s clinic. By the end of the pregnancy... I had visited everything I could find in Saint Petersburg. None of them suited me completely. Some were even outright harmful — they provoked anxiety or fear, guilt or anger; others were disappointing due to their one-sided presentation of information or were simply boring. Surrounded by obstetrics textbooks, spending time on early-stage parenting forums and chats, I was sincerely trying to learn how to be the best mom for my little miracle. It was a good birth. But I was left with the feeling that these courses and books were not what actually helped me.

What should be taught in prenatal classes? What should be discussed? How should we talk? And who should be speaking?

I’m convinced that we need to start from why people come — why this woman or couple decided to attend in the first place. People are different, and so are their needs.
Most people, when they come to a class for the first time, say: "We came for information." And yes, that’s true — on the surface. But it’s only part of the truth. Sometimes people simply ask: "Tell us what we should do and what we shouldn't. What should we do to make sure everything goes well — for us and the baby?"
Here lies a typical trap — the expectation that there is some universal “expert” who will explain everything and shield them from problems.
Indeed, many courses are taught by instructors who position themselves in exactly this way — directive, absolute, and categorical in saying what "must" and "must not" be done. That’s usually how classes attached to clinics are structured (see, for example, the study by A. Foureur et al., 2013, on the role of medical professionals in childbirth education).
It should be clear that this kind of patient instruction has little to do with psychological readiness for birth.
On the other hand, there are courses where "experts" insist that giving birth must be done in water, at home, with a doula, in a church, with dolphins, etc. — narrow paths, often based on the personal preferences of the instructor.
It’s important to understand: the personal experiences of friends, acquaintances, or mothers of many children do not indicate deeper knowledge. The number of births does not equal quality of knowledge — what matters is diverse experience gathered from many sources and situations (see the systematic review by G. Hodnett et al., 2013).
There are also clubs with a specific ideology, where much is imposed or rejected, and parents’ free choice is not supported.
And then there are highly clinical, medically oriented courses — after which you could practically work as a midwife, but that’s usually not what parents are aiming for.

So what actually works?

After many years of working in various birth preparation programs, supporting families, and continuing my own learning, I managed to create a course focused on growth — the growth of the maternal side in women and the paternal side in men.
Starting from where we are now — which is important to acknowledge and accept — we begin to move forward: learning, exploring, discovering, and doing things together. This model is based on supporting the natural human drive toward development, knowledge, and love.
Without diverse and balanced information, there can be no growth. But the amount of information must be appropriate — just enough to be truly useful to her, to them.
And, more importantly, not just information itself, but the ability to use it — to understand context and relevance. And that’s impossible without a strong foundation.

What should happen after the course?

Parents should feel relief — anxiety decreases, and energy and inspiration appear. Couples understand each other better, feel more in touch with their bodies and the situation, and gain real understanding. They begin to trust themselves and their abilities.
They don’t feel stupid or awkward — they realize these sessions gave them much more than just facts. Many questions get answered, but more importantly, they learn to ask the right questions.
By the end of the course, there’s a clear realization: "We’ve changed."
And much of what they learned continues to be useful long after birth — far beyond just the topic of childbirth.

Good courses are worth attending. Truly — I wholeheartedly recommend them.